"Vegetarians" who are not.

Now I can understand vegetarianism and some of the reasons why a person would adopt it in their life. What I don't get is the multiple categories within so called "vegetarians".

A) Vegans. The hardcore. The fundamentalists. The Al Quaeda of Vegetarianism.

B) Vegetarians.

C) Vegetarians who eat chicken.

D) Vegetarians who eat fish.

E) Vegetarians who eat eggs.

I'd just like to point out to you veggies out there that if you fall under any of the last 3, then by using extensive research and long contemplation it is safe to come to the conclusion that you are NOT a fucking vegetarian. The last time I checked, a chicken was a life form, and so was a fish. Just in case you didn't know, again through long, arduous research, a fish lives in the sea!

Oh yeh, and all you vegetarians that eat eggs? The vegetarians that won't eat an animal but will quite happily eat the unborn embryo of one. You're the worst kind. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Bacon

I really don't get people who order bacon, and then complain about the fat, and end up eating one mouthful of bacon, leaving the rest. I mean honestly? What is the god forsaken point? You might as well of ordered a sausage, because you'll eat that wont you? Even though its processed and only 30-45% of it is actually pork meat, and is worse than eating the bacon fat. In fact, you probably dont realise that the sausage has pork fat in it, probably even more so than what you've left off your bacon. Retard.

"You gonna eat that mate?"

BBC Three's Cherry goes... series

Cherry has a baby, then Cherry gets married, and then, Cherry goes dating? What happened Cherry? Did your husband think your investigations were as pointless as i did?

Sky

Sky is a complete abomination, I'm pretty sure the whole idea of sky is more variety for your television. Well let me tell you, it isn't. I'm pretty sure playing Two and a Half Men all day for 12 hours does not stand for variety. Oh wait let's see whats on Comedy Central Extra..... Oh Great! King of Queens.... all day... for 12 fucking hours. Even if you splash out for the film channels you still have to wait an aeon for them to stop repeating and for some new ones arrive. Great big fucking rip off if you ask me.

Oh, and the Living channel. What a steaming bowl of shit. 

Dappy, Tiny Tempah, and whatever.....

First of all, I'd like to start out by pointing out how much of a twat Dappy from N-Dubz is (as if you all hadn't noticed).

I mean honestly, where does this guy get off. Is this the kind of person we should be parading about on the telly? Is this the type of person we want to set an example to the generation of the present? Fuck no, The scary thing is there are probably people out there who actually admire him and aspire to look or be like him. If your one of those, sorry, your doomed to be a complete wally. I'd like to example Dappy's idiocy by presenting you a clip from his recent appearance on BBC's Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Prepare to cringe.

Noel Fielding vs Dappy

He's quite short. I'd like to see him in his school days, with a tall guy holding his hat too high for him to reach, jumping up and down squeaking like a prat, He'd probably do the same now.

Now Tiny Tempah, he's a little different. The real issue here is the name. Tiny Tempah, what does that imply exactly? Has he a short fuse? Does he express his anger mildly and bottle up the rest? Because that's concerning, it wouldn't be good for his health. I can imagine him spilling his drink and going "oh darn, i'll have to pay for another drink now!" What if a relative or friend died? Would he react in a similar fashion? (Minus the paying for another one part, that would be silly).

Don't even get me started on Tinchy Stryder, He probably takes ages to walk anywhere. And he can't spell.

Car comparison adverts and webuyanycar...

Who, in their right fucking mind got employed to brainstorm and create these adverts. I mean honestly, what was going through their minds when they were posting their ideas...

"Hold on guys, I've got it!"

"Shoot."

"Lets make a guy who in physical appearance is a cross from a young pavorotti and super mario, get him to sing go compare in opera, with a weak italian accent. Then we can change the location from where he sings so the idea never gets old!"

"That's fucking brilliant!"

I'm sure thats how the conversation went. 

It's not fucking brilliant, and the idea is now most definitely old. In fact, admittedly I gave out a small "hmph" the first time I saw it. the kind of hmph I give out when I see a new flavour of walkers crisps or something. After a while, (I say a while) in about a week I wanted to shoot the inane, one dimensional, talentless, pavo-mario prick in the face. Come another week, I wanted to shoot me in the face. Not a lot of adverts make me wanna shoot me in the face, so they've made an impact to a certain extent, which I'll give them credit for.

And webuyanycar.com. Quite possibly the most annoying jingle in any advert of all time. I seriously don't understand these marketing people. Yes, you made a tune which does drill into the core of my brain so I remember it. The problem is when I listen to it, it feels like a fucking drill tunneling to the core of my brain. Effective advertising? No. I hate you. you will never by a car that I own ever. The only way you will ever obtain one of my cars, is when I drive it through your office at 60mph slaughtering your employees. Buy that you cunts.

Now a russian meerkat, that I can deal with. Not only does he attain mild humour, he provides a valuable service in comparing meerkats for all those meerkat owners out there. You know who you are!